1. El Boyfriend, home for the weekend, has discovered the joy of pulling down wallpaper. “I can’t believe you did this,” he said, eyeing the wall next the the refrigerator where it all started. He found an edge of the Floral Monstrosity starting to peel away and began to pull. He didn’t stop pulling for a solid 20 minutes, while I watched, cackled evilly, and then started pulling more down as well.

El Boyfriend, currently reading over my elbow, would also like me to tell you that he said “I can’t believe you’re making me do this.” The man knows karate and how to shoot a gun, people, AS IF I COULD MAKE HIM DO ANYTHING.

2. We bought a new bed tonight, HALLEFREAKINGLUJAH. Now those of us who are half-dead from exhaustion shall sleep once again. In approximately a week and half, depending on delivery. I hope I can hold out that long.